What Elopement Means: A Modern Definition and Guide
We’ve been thinking about what elopement means. By Google’s definition, “elopement refers to a marriage conducted in sudden and secretive fashion, usually involving a hurried flight away from one’s place of residence together with one’s beloved with the intention of getting married without parental approval.” That old elopement definition was valid in the days of your grandparents, but times have changed a lot since then. The modern-day elopement definition has changed quite a bit and finding the true meaning of an elopement is different for every couple.
A Modern Definition of Eloping
ELOPEMENT: A non-traditional, intimate wedding experience that focuses on the couple rather than the guests and where every decision is intentional and celebrated. To elope is to celebrate your intimacy without hesitation. We would define an elopement as the very first adventure you two will take as a married couple. It’s the first adventure you two will fully plan, start to finish, together. This will be the first adventure you take where you can do anything you want, plan anything you want, go anywhere you want because it’s all about you and declaring your love officially legal.
The Freedom of Eloping
An elopement also has no rules, fun right??! An elopement can be anything from your backyard, to a church in the town you two met, to the edge of a mountain in Switzerland, to a waterfall in Hawaii, to a boat on Lake Michigan. When we said no rules, we meant every word of it. You can be as classy, as adventurous, as laid back, or as creative as you want. That’s the beauty of an elopement.
Common Elopement Misconceptions and Myths
Our culture has done such a crappy job of showing couples how insanely intentional and epic modern day elopements can be. Let's debunk some myths:
- “Eloping is marriage without parents' consent!” FALSE. In fact, many many many parents are at the elopements we shoot! Your parents can 100% make the list of people invited.
- “Eloping is selfish!” FALSE. Eloping is about making a commitment to no one except your unity with your love, it is about doing something together just for yourselves – at the root of it’s being, it is about love.
- “Elopements are cheap!” While yeah, an elopement CAN surely be cheap, a wedding can be too, most of the time they are not! They are notably less money than a big, extravagant wedding… that doesn’t mean you don’t spend good money on them!
- “Elopements are last minute weddings!” WRONGO…. again, anything can be anything given the chance, but for the grand majority, this is simply not true. Most elopements we shoot and help plan take a year or MORE to fully bring together and make come to life.
- “Elopements make your wedding less legitimate!” IN WHAT WAY? Your wedding day isn’t any more or less REAL because you chose to elope.
Elopement vs. Traditional Weddings
The easiest explanation of the difference between the two is that with an elopement, you’re prioritizing your experience and with a traditional wedding you’re prioritizing your guest’s experience. A key difference between the definition of an elopement versus a traditional wedding is how your wedding budget is allocated. When you have a traditional wedding, you’re typically dedicating the majority of your wedding budget to the guest experience.
| Feature | Traditional Wedding | Elopement |
|---|---|---|
| Guest Count | Average of 136 guests | Intimate (typically less than 20 people) |
| Primary Focus | Guest experience and entertainment | The couple's intentional experience |
| Budget Focus | Average $258 per person on guests | Allocated to the couple's adventure |
| Planning Style | Rooted in tradition and production | Non-traditional and flexible |
Elopement vs. Intimate Weddings
The differences come down to the way you guide your day and how many people tag along. If “running away” by just yourselves or with a few close friends sounds a little too secluded then you might prefer an intimate wedding. These ceremonies tend to have around 30 guests, still drastically less than your traditional ceremony but more than an elopement. I tend to see elopements are just the couple and their photographer and they often take place in adventurous locations.
Sustainable Celebrations
One of the reasons many couples feel pulled to eloping is because they really care about the environment and they disagree with how much trash a single wedding creates. Having a sustainable and eco-friendly elopement is easier than you may think! Eloping is NOT to wed with shame or secrecy, but to enjoy even the smallest of moments with immense detail and care.